Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Can you Pass The Ebonics Test?

Want to apply for that gubment job deciphering Ebonics for the Gubment?

Justice Department Seeks Ebonics Experts DEA to hire nine “Black English” linguists

Take this test:

Leroy is an 18 year old ninth grader who is becoming increasingly disillusioned with the public school system.

One day Leroy got an easy homework assignment. All he had to do was put each of the following words in a sentence. This is what Leroy did.

1. HOTEL - I gave my girlfriend da crabs and the HOTEL everybody.

2. RECTUM - I had two Cadillacs, but my ol' lady RECTUM both.

3. DISAPPOINTMENT - My parole officer tol me if I miss DISAPPOINTMENT they gonna send me back to the big house.

4. FORECLOSE - If I pay alimony this month, I'll have no money FORECLOSE.

5. CATACOMB - Don King was at the fight the other night, Man, somebody give that CATACOMB.

6. PENIS - I went to da doctor and he handed me a cup and said PENIS.

7. ISRAEL - Alonso tried to sell me a Rolex, I said Man, that looks fake. He said, No, ISRAEL.

8. UNDERMINE - There is a fine lookin' hoe livin' in the apartment UNDERMINE.

9. TRIPOLI - I was gonna buy my old lady a bra but I couldn't find no TRIPOLI.

10. STAIN - My mother-in-law axed if I was STAIN for dinner again.

11. SELDOM - My cousin gave me two tickets to the Knicks game, so I SELDOM.

12. ODYSSEY - I told my bro, you ODYSSEY the tits on this hoe.

13. HORDE - My sister got into trouble because she HORDE around in school.

14. INCOME - I just got in bed wit dis hoe and INCOME my wife.

15. FORTIFY - I axed da hoe how much? And she say FORTIFY.

Leroy got an A.

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I’m still amazed that when I talk to some of these young white students about this Ebonics controversy in Oakland, CA back in the day they think I’m joking…

Ebonics controversy

In December 1996, the Oakland school board made nationwide news when it passed a resolution declaring "Ebonics", also known as African American Vernacular English, a language of its own and not a dialect of English. The move was lambasted by critics, based partially on the misconception that schools would be "teaching" Ebonics rather than standard English. The actual intention was to use a particular set of strategies to bridge students from their home-language to the standardized forms required by school systems. One media consultant, at the time, referred to the press response as a "media race riot." The validity of the school board's position was argued by numerous linguists and educators.

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