Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Living While Black...

Trayvon Martin case to go to grand jury, Fla. state attorney announces

Folks since I’m on the road not able to do my blog reading. But wanted to post something about this mess in Florida, the Mexican dude shooting the young black kid Treyvon.
I will use some tidbits about me as examples.

After watching the press conference conducted by the family attorney all I could do is shake my head and I hope the mutherfucker get the death penalty, seriously.

All I could think about while watching the press conference was that was me as a kid.

Let me give you a few examples to put things into perspective.

When we first moved into our neighborhood in Oakland, the only black family shortly after moving into the neighborhood our home was vandalized, kids threw numerous eggs at our home and a week later a small cross was burned on our lawn.

For the first few months after moving into the neighborhood I was not allowed to go into the homes of many of my white friends.

I was invited to a birthday party by a friend, white girl in my class. Long story short the dad who found out I was attending the party and moved the party from the patio in the backyard to inside, when I arrived at the door he said the party was canceled.

When my mother became den mother while I was in Cub Scouts there was an achievement award that each den won each month. While my mother was den mom we won the award for 3 consecutive months. The racist ass pack leader was so upset that we kept winning he disbanded the award. Thanks to the young son of one of the other den mothers he blurted out that the other mothers “did not want niggers in our district.”

One day while coming home from baseball practice a man who would later claim that some young black boys had earlier damaged his garden released his dog to come after me. Luckily I had my base bat to fend the dog off.

Later while returning home from another practice I went a different way through a creek another racist dude released his dog who chased me, that dog would be beat to death. It took me years to not be afraid of dogs.
This guy bred dogs to attack black people.
Several months later this same man would show up to a playground near the school and released several black labs to attack us. We all managed to get away barely. The police would come and have to shoot the dogs to keep them from attacking us.  

Numerous  times while walking in our neighborhood I was stopped by police. One time when an officer did not believe me when I told him where I lived they put me in a police car and drove me home.

Another time when a group of us had finished playing baseball, we were gathered around talking, I was bouncing the end of an aluminum bat on the stairs which made a weird echoing sound. Soon after others would start doing the same thing. The police were called, the police ignored everyone else, took me aside handcuffed me put me in the police car, drove me around for a time questioning me and took me home.

In the fifth and sixth grades soon after more black kids started going to our school the teachers in these classrooms separated the black boys from the white girls and did not allow the black boys to play with the white girls.

Once when an old lady became upset because I was supposedly making too much noise on my skateboard she went to my home and told my mother that I threw a pop on her and cussed at her.

My brother who while in high school wore a pretty serious afro. A group of white kids came up to him after football practice and one kid asked “hey nigger, how did you get your hair like that with a vacuum?” My brother proceeded to beat the hell out of that kid.

I have been accused of steeling numerous times, been lied on my a number of parents who simply did not like black kids.

While working at a major hospital I was the video techno geek and specialized in photography, videography and computer graphics. I produced all of the major presentations for the physicians and recorded surgeries.
There was one lady who was newly hired highly regarded and I had spoken to her on the phone numerous times and we had wonderful conversations, she was impressed at my knowledge, she should have been, I was good at what I did.
She e-mailed me the material and after I finished putting together the presentation I e-mailed it back to her. She was ecstatic. A few days later she wanted to come to my office and meet with me to help her with another presentation. When she came down I had a friend of mind a white guy with me and we were talking. Now in these days I would kind of dress up at work was always clean cut and looked nice and professional. This dude looked like he just came off the farm. Long beard and jacked up clothes.
I’m at my desk working on something and he had his feet up on a table kicking back.
My office door was opened and she came right in and started talking to him. She knew I was in the office because I just got of the phone with her. She starts going on about how good a job I did and was excited that I was willing to help her again.
She opened up a folder and handed it to him and he looked at her perplexed and said to her you want to talk to that guy, not me I don’t work here.
When she looked over at me you should have seen the look on her face she looked like she saw a ghost.
I stood up to introduce myself and she said your ?
She then looked pissed, chatted with me briefly then said she had to be somewhere and she would call me later. She never called back and never asked me to help her again.
Similar incidents happened to me on a number of occasions while working there.            

Shortly after getting the job I had today a former employee the guy I replaced came up to me and asked me “what are your qualifications for this job.” This man did not introduce himself to me, did not say hi or boo. After rattling off my qualifications he had this fucked up look in fact he was perplexed that I got the position.
I know for a fact that if I did not have the boss I have (white guy) there is no way I would have this position. I would later read e-mails from people who were not happy I got the position, closeted racists fucks.   

I’ve had more than a few white women tell me they could not date me because of family concerns. I did have one white woman who was brave enough to marry me despite her fathers closeted outrage and issues from other members of her family.
In fact when we announced that we were going to be married he cried, no joke and not tears of joy.  
 Many times while around her family I felt alone and isolated, even my mother who lived with us for a time started to feel the isolation as well. Still to this day I know she is unaware that the deterioration of our marriage was in part due to this.
Upon our separation as accusations of what went wrong were thrown back and forth black stereotypical accusations were tossed out. Something the woman I knew that I married would never do on her own.

Now I’m single and posted a dating ad but no pic but had a honest detailed profile chalked full of information and personal antidotes because I wanted to put my best literary foot forward.
I got a really nice reply and started to chat up this lady. We had some wonderful conversations via e-mail and this went on for almost a month.
We finally decided to meet at a Starbucks for the obligatory coffee date. I was not dressed up but looked nice, was a bit late. Well I arrive and you know the look the lady who came to my office had, well this look even topped that, this fucking lady looked like she saw a ghost. She clearly was not expecting a black dude. I’m no Denzel but I an a decent look dude and I’m certainly not fat or sloppy and I take decent care of myself. She was hardly a runway model she looked ok our looks were equally matched… she was a bit overweight… but this lady had no idea that a black dude could carry on a coherent, intellectual conversation and I got into the political stuff too so she know I was conservative in my leanings. Me being black floored her and I would not be out of line to say she was almost angry. She certainly was expecting some dashing pale skinned nerdy white dude. Black people apparently are not able to carryon a decent conversation, oh and she did hear my voice too. Obviously I sounded white. 
Living the life I have this did not shock or dismay me.

Folks this is the life of a typical black dude. Nothing that I pointed out in the examples above are unusual or out of the ordinary.

What happened to that young kid Treyvon happens all the damn time, every fucking day, whether we are walking into a store or walking through affluent neighborhoods or driving through them.
Most just don’t end up shot dead.

Folks I’m a normal guy, I work, I live, I mind my own business I don’t bother anyone, I try to be polite and respectful as my parents taught me to do.
But there are some people in this world who just don’t care, I’m black therefore I’m the pariah, no matter what the situation or circumstance. Simply inexplicable ignorance is programmed into far too many of us.
That Zimermann fuck who shot that kid… where in the hell did he get that mindset from?
I once said on my old blog that every time the police fucked with me, or someone treated me badly or were rude and racist, disrespectful to me the roots in that behavior were rooted in the culture of ebonics, the sideways baseball caps, the saggy pants, the gold teeth the ridiculous ghetto attitude so prevalent in so many black men.
These same black men who deny their children, disrespect black women, turn up their noses at what the perceive is white conformity, ridicule educational pursuits.

No of course that innocent young handsome black kid did not deserve to be murdered by some idiot racist. And folks let not pretend here many Mexicans don’t like black people period and if more Mexicans could knock off a random black dude from time to time they would. Don’t get me wrong one of my best friends is Mexican but I grew up n Oakland and Mexicans and blacks hated each other and the tension in California grows as Mexicans have taken jobs and opportunities away from blacks and basically have run them out of California. So this incident is not some shock to me and I have yet to see a single blog post, news story or TV interview talk about this elephant in the room.      

When Jessie Jackson once said if I see a bunch of black kids together on the same side of the street as me I walk to the other side. You won’t catch me in the hood after a certain time.
The only murder I ever was somewhat witnessed to was the shooting of a black kid right across the street from my home. That prompted us to sell our home and get the fuck out of dodge. I said that I would never live in a neighborhood with too many black people, you think I’m the only black person to ever say this?

Folks I’m far more likely to be killed by another black dude than I am another Zimmerman.
There are two sides of this dilemma not to excuse the shooter he will get his believe me. But what is still prevalent in today’s culture that would propel a dude to murder a kid simply because he was black and what role did the moronic gangster, ghetto ass culture far to many celebrate play in this incident and the others to come.

To you white people who happen to read this, the next time you enter an elevator do you clutch your purse or bag a little tighter? See a black dude walking by your car in a parking lot are you quick to lock your doors?
If a black guy is applying for a job do you even consider him or her?
If there is a black family in your neighborhood have you even met them do you even speak or wave?
If your daughter brings home a black kid/man how do you react? 

When will we learn to see people as… people and not black people or white people or Mexican or whatever.
Ignorance is what allows the human race to continue to deteriorate… and at an alarming rate I might add.


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

As a fellow human being, all I can say is sorry for the way you've been treated by some whites.

I've been given the evil eye by blacks for driving around their neighborhood looking for a company.

Had crap thrown at me when I got lost in Milwaukee, again black neighborhood.

Had a rental car get damaged when a black woman's children got out of the rear seat. The little boy slammed his mother's car door into mine so hard that the rental car rocked and left a noticeable dent. Suburb of Detroit. Got no 'sorry', and not even a kiss my ass from the woman.

Been used as the target of rather vicious humor by a black owned and operated bbq place at an airport. Funny thing is that I can do the self deprecating humor pretty well and hope that the guy behind the counter runs into someone, anyone, whose had a bad day of traveling and tries out what he did to me on them.

Probably have had my food messed with by blacks working fast food places too. All for what? To prove that they can get one over on a white guy? What does that do when I next encounter a black person?

Do I hate all blacks because of things like this? No. Am I aware of people around me? Better believe it as I lost everything in the trunk of the car Rochester, Mn. Probably due to a white meth head high school student.

I shared an office with a black guy for several years and enjoyed working with him. One Monday he came in and said the Highland Park police harassed him and his wife for DWB. Told him I was sorry for that. Said might be time to go and screw with the racist cops over there. Said if it happens again tell the damned cops that you are with the catering service and are running late to Mrs So and So party. Said the cops might even give you a police escort over to the party. He laughed. Use their racism against them in a way that they think they've won when in fact they've lost. Came time for the coworker to move on and he asked if I would provide a reference for him. Said sure. He went to a Japanese company as an engineer. The questions they asked me had little to do with the work he had done but IMHO were quite racist (i.e. does he smell bad?). He got the job with big $$$$ and told him to watch his back because of the questions they'd asked me.

You've been on the receiving end of some pretty nasty crap and came out a better person in spite of it. Not everyone survives as well as you have.